UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On Wednesday I finally saw the Pulmonologist. Well the doctor was OK, but could not tell me why I have the pain in my back or neck which is why this all started back in May I think. I am not sure now. Was it tiredness from April until May when the pain started or was the pain sooner? Anyway he did know why so again I have to have some more tests.

Thursday we finally found out that Lara has been accepted into first grade. We went able to get her school supplies that night as Greg got home late and I want feeling well. I had decided to clean up our room and it took more of me that I realized it would.

Friday I went to the eye doctor again with the children and Greg. There was this incredible nasty woman there that hated the children. She kept on giving them dirty looks when they made any noise. Hello? If you want dead silence than stay at home! Otherwise people make noise. She was just a mean woman and blurted out anything she felt at any given moment. At one point this other woman was in the waiting room and just laughed at her as she was saying how she was going to barf. Later on she said, “I usually love children, but these two I just can't stand. I really hate the little girl”. I just gave her husband a leer. I mean WTF!!!!! You said that out loud in front of the girl’s mother? What moron would do that? I just bit my tongue and prayed that she would loose her voice! Later on we bought the school supplies for Lara. I also had to call the doctor to get more drugs, but now he isn’t sure I should get them. He wants me to do pain management. How can I do that before they find out what exactly I am managing? So my script was for less drugs than usual. I guess I will cal him on Monday to see what is up with that as I only found that out today (Saturday) when I was finally able to get the prescription filled.

Today has been awful. I picked up the script at the doctors and went to CVS to get it filled. At first they weren’t going to do it because the computer said I should still have more pills from my last fill. That is because the doctor that wrote it wrote the wrong dosage. Instead of one every 4 hours he made it 1 every 6 hours. Well I followed the 1 every 4 hours. Eventually I got that straightened out and got the pills but there was less than usually so I still have to call the doctor on Monday to find out why. Then we go to go on a family walk. Well Anthony keeps on kicking me seat so I tell him to stop, he doesn’t. So I tell him to stop or I will cancel the trip. So then Greg instead of backing me up says that we cant cancel the trip as they have done nothing fun all summer and that I am ruining the day just like I ruined the whole summer. So I get mad at him and want to go home. The children cry they want their hot dogs at this place that Greg promised them. We get there and I want to just walk home. Well then Greg won’t buy the hot dogs. So we get into a huge fight and end up making a scene with everyone staring at us! I just want to die and walk off by myself while he finally gets the stupid hot dogs.

I want to walk home, but again Greg says he has to drive me. While he is driving me home he tells me I act like a 17 year old just like someone told him I do. I want to know who but he won't say. Eventually he does tell me after a huge fight and crying. It was a friend that actually was saying that I look like I am 17, not act, it was a compliment not an insult but he twisted it around to make it that way. I get home and just want to be left alone. Again he just doesn’t get it. So eventually he takes the children to the park and I am left at home steaming. I just hate him now and wish I had never been so stupid as to marry him. I am upset about being sick. I am tired of taking meds. Tired of only seeing out of one eye. Tired of him making me feel guilty about not doing anything fun with the children. Tired of all this BS. Why can’t I just be happy?