Sunday, January 25, 2009
Not doing well...
I am not feeling well and get so tired so fast it is pathetic. Greg and the children are getting on my nerves so easily. Greg was on call so only Lara and I went to church today. Greg went yesterday morning with her as his mother was mentioned in prayer. Heck I was even ticked off at church today when they had post cards they asked us to fill out to send to the senate. I just don’t want to mix church and state, period. I got so mad I almost walked out but stopped myself, as Lara had to go to CCD after the service. Anyway I am still in pain as well and like I said very cranky. Seems the more I try to do the more is expected. I keep a stiff upper lip only to be asked what for dinner, or where the clean clothes are, etc. I made a blinkie and it is true Sarcoidosis sucks.
Monday, January 19, 2009
No answers in sight...
Lara has a three day weekend so no school problems yet this week. She is being so bad with the bathroom. She pooped in her pants this morning and just didn’t care. Anthony cared more than she did. Anthony is not doing well with the toilet also so I am thinking it is something I am not doing right. I must suck at toilet training. At this point I wish there was a school we could send them to. Maybe a toilet boot camp?
Greg has lightened up a bit with me as he can see how sick I feel now. He does want me to handle the pre school registration so I have to look that up later on today.
I gave my Pulmonologist a call to see what the results were of the CT. I thought was going to finally addressing my pain with a CT scan of my torso. All I got though was that my lymph nodes showed “slight improvement” what every that means. So he is not addressing me pain in my mid drift. I also got no report on my lungs even though I am coughing all the time and feel pressure there. Also as a singer I can tell when my volume of air is down so I know something is wrong with my lungs. I called the doctor twice last week and he never called back. His nurse called once with the great news of my lymph node. I told her my problem was in my lung and mid drift but she refused to listen saying the lymph node was the same thing. I mean are we all so dumb we thing the lung and lymph node is the same thing because they are both in the chest cavity? Can’t some of us feel the difference between the two? At this point I am just so frustrated and just don’t know what to do. I am tired all the time and to do anything is an effort that is worthy of a 90 year old, not a 45 year old adult. I just want to be in bed and asleep all day long. This past weekend it was OK. We did manage to go out to breakfast on Saturday morning with Greg’s sister and dad. I was feeling really bad but tried to keep a stiff upper lip so to say. Later on we went to a SIL’s birthday party as she turns 50 this Tuesday. It was at their house so it was manageable. They have a beautiful place that they just bought on a lake. Their neighbors came by snowmobiles that they drove on the lake! They place is just gorgeous and I told them I am running away to their place this summer to get away from Greg and the children. I looked for a Sarcoidosis site and found a place I can ask questions. I posted about my pain there and I am happy I found that site. I feel less of a whining, hypersensitive freak. Heck at this point I am getting more medical help from “House” than any doctor around here.
Greg has lightened up a bit with me as he can see how sick I feel now. He does want me to handle the pre school registration so I have to look that up later on today.
I gave my Pulmonologist a call to see what the results were of the CT. I thought was going to finally addressing my pain with a CT scan of my torso. All I got though was that my lymph nodes showed “slight improvement” what every that means. So he is not addressing me pain in my mid drift. I also got no report on my lungs even though I am coughing all the time and feel pressure there. Also as a singer I can tell when my volume of air is down so I know something is wrong with my lungs. I called the doctor twice last week and he never called back. His nurse called once with the great news of my lymph node. I told her my problem was in my lung and mid drift but she refused to listen saying the lymph node was the same thing. I mean are we all so dumb we thing the lung and lymph node is the same thing because they are both in the chest cavity? Can’t some of us feel the difference between the two? At this point I am just so frustrated and just don’t know what to do. I am tired all the time and to do anything is an effort that is worthy of a 90 year old, not a 45 year old adult. I just want to be in bed and asleep all day long. This past weekend it was OK. We did manage to go out to breakfast on Saturday morning with Greg’s sister and dad. I was feeling really bad but tried to keep a stiff upper lip so to say. Later on we went to a SIL’s birthday party as she turns 50 this Tuesday. It was at their house so it was manageable. They have a beautiful place that they just bought on a lake. Their neighbors came by snowmobiles that they drove on the lake! They place is just gorgeous and I told them I am running away to their place this summer to get away from Greg and the children. I looked for a Sarcoidosis site and found a place I can ask questions. I posted about my pain there and I am happy I found that site. I feel less of a whining, hypersensitive freak. Heck at this point I am getting more medical help from “House” than any doctor around here.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Not menopause!...
My period finally arrived on Friday so that is good. That made it a 41 day cycle and the longest I have ever had. I think that is a sign that the end of my fertility is nearing me. Not sure how I feel about that. I am just in general not feeling very well at all. I am tired all the time. I take vitamins and am able to eat but my energy and mood are both low. It is hard to get the energy to go on line so I have not been on the computer very much. I am supposed to be a host at FF but can not get on a lot so that will probably end this month. I have to call my doctor today about the CT scan last week, as I have not received a call from him. The pain is constant around my mid drift and chest. It is a constant dull pain. I am just so sick of being sick all the time.
The children are OK. Lara still hates to go to school and is having problems staying dry. We stayed in this past weekend due to a snow storm and she was wetting herself a lot to the point we put her in a pull up in the day time. We have to get her back to the neurologist to see what she says about all of this. Anthony is going to the toilet more and more but only pees so far. He tells us after he poops but not when he has to go. Both want to go on the computer and play in the Disney site so I loose out on computer time. Anthony wants to go online during the day and is complaining even as I type this. Lara wants to go online after dinner so between the two of them there is hardly time for me to go on line. They are both good at the games and it is good practice for them. They are learning how to use the mouse and simple keyboard skills so it is a good thing that they go online.
Greg has not been so bad as of late. Last night we both made dinner so it was a bit late but good. After we bathed the children as it had been awhile with me ill. Most night I want to go to bed early and Greg stays up with the children. I am so tired it is easy to go to sleep but hard to wake up in the morning as I am tired and my midriff pain is sharp then. I just don’t see an end in sight with this and feel I am in a big hole. Financially we are struggling to and only paid a portion of our property taxes, as they are insane here. We pay more for our little property measured by felt than my parents and brothers that measure by the acre! My parents have ¾ acre and pay less than our less than 1/8 acre property. That just does not make sense to me.
The children are OK. Lara still hates to go to school and is having problems staying dry. We stayed in this past weekend due to a snow storm and she was wetting herself a lot to the point we put her in a pull up in the day time. We have to get her back to the neurologist to see what she says about all of this. Anthony is going to the toilet more and more but only pees so far. He tells us after he poops but not when he has to go. Both want to go on the computer and play in the Disney site so I loose out on computer time. Anthony wants to go online during the day and is complaining even as I type this. Lara wants to go online after dinner so between the two of them there is hardly time for me to go on line. They are both good at the games and it is good practice for them. They are learning how to use the mouse and simple keyboard skills so it is a good thing that they go online.
Greg has not been so bad as of late. Last night we both made dinner so it was a bit late but good. After we bathed the children as it had been awhile with me ill. Most night I want to go to bed early and Greg stays up with the children. I am so tired it is easy to go to sleep but hard to wake up in the morning as I am tired and my midriff pain is sharp then. I just don’t see an end in sight with this and feel I am in a big hole. Financially we are struggling to and only paid a portion of our property taxes, as they are insane here. We pay more for our little property measured by felt than my parents and brothers that measure by the acre! My parents have ¾ acre and pay less than our less than 1/8 acre property. That just does not make sense to me.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Menopause??? What next?????
I am not feeling well at all. I had a chest CT scam yesterday to see if the Sarcoidosis is in my lungs now and is the cause of the pain. My mid drift hurts too and it is hard to go to sleep. Wine helps but Greg complains about the smell, as he hates wine. So if I have wine I have to hear whine as well. Anywho I also have to face the fact that a third child just wasn’t in god’s plans. I am now on CD 40 and no AF in sight. I know I am not pregnant so it must be menopause. Maybe with me my cycles just shut off at once?
Doing the art work keeps my mind off of my body so that is good. I just finished a huge group’s blinkie with 107 photos! At first they were in the order of when they were submitted but then I was asked to alphabetize them and so did. It took a long time to do, as I had to crop the photos out and save them in separate files labeled A,B,C, etc. Anywho it took a long time and so now Greg wants me off of the computer.
Doing the art work keeps my mind off of my body so that is good. I just finished a huge group’s blinkie with 107 photos! At first they were in the order of when they were submitted but then I was asked to alphabetize them and so did. It took a long time to do, as I had to crop the photos out and save them in separate files labeled A,B,C, etc. Anywho it took a long time and so now Greg wants me off of the computer.
Monday, January 5, 2009
The Holidays...
Well we all had a great Christmas. We managed to put some things under our tree and exchanged gifts with the rest of the family as well. We used some old gift cards that we had so some of the presents cost us nothing. We still managed to spend too much and now can’t pay all the credit card bills. The taxes are also way overdue and so I worry we could loose the house. The children had a lot of fun though and it was great seeing my brothers and their families. Greg’s sister though went overboard and even though she agreed to two presents each she bought seven each! I am a bit ticked by that as she just ignores what we want and does as she pleases. We really want to keep Christmas simple and less greedy mass opening of presents and she just spits in our faces when she does that. The rest of the day was good though. We served hors d'oeuvres at out house to FIL and SIL. Then went to my brother’s house in Putnam Valley and saw my family and my brother’s in-laws there. We all get along great and so it is like one big family.
Greg took off of work and so we spent a good amount of time at home this past week. We played board games a couple of days and others we just hung out together. We went to see “Bolt” at the movies one day at the 10 AM show. We had a fire alarm unfortunately and so am a bit ticked about that. At this theatre we have only seen four movies. During these movies we had two fire alarms and one child alert. So we only got to see one movie without interruption. I think a 25% success rate is pretty darn low. I can’t remember ever having either one of those in other movies ever. Anyway New Years was quiet here. There was snow that day so most stayed at home. We toasted with alcohol removed champagne. The children feel asleep before midnight and so we just went in and kissed them at the New Year.
Today all is back to usual. Greg is back at work and Lara is back at school. It was hard getting ready today as we are all spoiled from sleeping in. Anthony was the only lucky one and just got up at the crack of 10:30! I had a hard time getting out of bed due to my illness. I just don’t feel good in the mornings anymore. I am tired and nauseas. Half the time I can’t even face my beloved coffee, so I know I am ill when that happens. I am having mid drift pain as well that is rather sharp at times. I saw my Pulmonologist last week and he was not happy that I stopped the steroids. He said he was anxious to find out what the other doctors says about tat and what drug he will give me now. So it looks like the NYC optic neurologist is the leader and the Pulmonologist is the secondary at this point. Nothing new on the TTC side as we did nothing this month so I am just waiting for the hag to show up.
Greg took off of work and so we spent a good amount of time at home this past week. We played board games a couple of days and others we just hung out together. We went to see “Bolt” at the movies one day at the 10 AM show. We had a fire alarm unfortunately and so am a bit ticked about that. At this theatre we have only seen four movies. During these movies we had two fire alarms and one child alert. So we only got to see one movie without interruption. I think a 25% success rate is pretty darn low. I can’t remember ever having either one of those in other movies ever. Anyway New Years was quiet here. There was snow that day so most stayed at home. We toasted with alcohol removed champagne. The children feel asleep before midnight and so we just went in and kissed them at the New Year.
Today all is back to usual. Greg is back at work and Lara is back at school. It was hard getting ready today as we are all spoiled from sleeping in. Anthony was the only lucky one and just got up at the crack of 10:30! I had a hard time getting out of bed due to my illness. I just don’t feel good in the mornings anymore. I am tired and nauseas. Half the time I can’t even face my beloved coffee, so I know I am ill when that happens. I am having mid drift pain as well that is rather sharp at times. I saw my Pulmonologist last week and he was not happy that I stopped the steroids. He said he was anxious to find out what the other doctors says about tat and what drug he will give me now. So it looks like the NYC optic neurologist is the leader and the Pulmonologist is the secondary at this point. Nothing new on the TTC side as we did nothing this month so I am just waiting for the hag to show up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
