Sorry for the low activity as of late. I have been spending a lot of time on face book. I have about six farms now (gained one this morning), a member of the mob, and a citizen of YoVille. Every morning I tend all of my crops and animals, Do a few “jobs” and some banking, and then I go to work at YoVille widget factory. Sad thing is I really do not know what I am doing so everything is dying in the farms, my mob character is in the hospital, and my YoVille apartment is rather sparse! Ugh you think with all the time I spend there I would be better at it!
I the real world:
Anthony is doing major back steps with the potty. He was totally off of diapers two weeks ago. We would give him a YoGabaGaba when he went a week with no accidents. Well as soon as he got the last one he stopped going on the pot. He pooped and peed in his pants all the time. So Greg and I decided to take the YoGabaGabas away in reverse order. Every time he pooped in his pants he lost the last one he was rewarded with. Well he was so upset when he pooped he wouldn’t tell us. I can not smell very well and so it sat there way too long. So now the poor boy has a really nasty rash on his but! I gave back his toys but he still won’t tell us when he has an accident because now it really hurts when I clean him up. Even with just plain water and a soft cloth. When I have to clean him it is just awful and he screams the whole time. I just cry with him, but I have to do it.
Lara had her last day of camp today so she is all mine for the rest of the summer. Now I have to come up with something to do with them, as they will drive me nuts at home all day. She is having accidents a lot in her pants and so between the two I am always cleaning someone up. With her I also have to clean up the floor! Ugh! She is easily annoyed by Anthony and whines at him all the time. Anthony just say something like “this is problematic”. I think he is going to be a psychiatrist or psychologist someday. Lara had a great birthday and is now seven years old!
Greg is pretty much the same. He wakes up late all the time, but does not watch old shows on his lap top anymore. So that is something. He is off next week and we are staying home. He likes being at home all day for a change. I do not. I want to run away for the week and leave him to tend the children 24/7. You know “for a change”. He was good for my birthday but forgot he was in charge of organizing it. So no balloons, flowers, or birthday plates and napkins. He forgot it all. Strange thing is he wrote a list of things to do and all of that was on the list! I guess he was too busy writing the list to actually do it. That’s my man!
I really wasn’t in the mood to celebrate that day anyway. Little Dylan was put to rest the day before and that just loomed over me. Everything with Dylan brought back the past for me and I just had a hard time dealing with it. Today is raining and so my Sarcoidosis is bothering me something awful. I didn’t want to get up and Greg just doesn’t get it at all. He thinks I am lazy.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Yesterday was a sad day…
Things were just awful as I woke up not feeling well at all. Greg was on call at home and so being a very self centered pain. Any time I could use help he was working, but he managed to look around on juke box for songs, etc he just didn’t have time to do anything with the children. When I woke up I was nauseous and in pain. It is getting worse.
Later on we went to dinner at Friendlies and that was good. The children behaved there so we let them play with the crane machine. They both won the toy they wanted. Last time after two hours of trying we got one that Lara hated. Anyway things were good then.
When I got home though I found out that a little boy that had been fighting the injuries from abuse succumb to his injuries. He passed away at two thirty that day. I am very saddened by this. He was doing so well at his birthday a little over a month ago. I had been praying for him since last August. I know what it is like to loose a child to domestic violence and so feel so bad for his dad. He was the one that was taking care of him, as his mom was one of the abusers. One of I think seven people. He was only two when they called 911, as he was not breathing. He had so many injuries from trauma, burns, and bites. I am so sick from this I couldn’t sleep at all last night. I have been thinking of my baby that I lost so long ago, and what s/he would have been like had they made it to birth. At twelve weeks all I could tell was that it was a baby. Today that baby would be 25. I just hate people sometimes.
I was in such pain this morning as I finally fell asleep at six AM! Lara had a bad dream last night. I had gone to the living room to watch TV and try to sleep. I made sure Greg was all comfy and did not want to keep him awake. Anyway just as I was about to finally drift asleep Lara woke up screaming. She stayed awake the rest of the night as well. It was about two AM then. Every time she would seem to go to sleep something would wake her. At six Anthony came in screaming as I had left him in my bad and Greg couldn’t handle him. No surprise there. Anyway at that time Greg stayed with Lara and I went to be with Anthony. The four of us just can’t fit into a full bed anymore. So I got an hour sleep before Greg woke up late, as he didn’t set an alarm clock. He was screaming for me and Lara to get up. I was in such pain and just wanted to throw up and die. Greg was being his sunshiny self yelling that I was an awful mother for not getting up! As if I was up all night so how bad of a mother can I be? Also Lara did not want to go to rec. today as she was tired. Greg was just being so mean today. I just wish sometimes I had never married him. I had stayed away from men after my first fiancé was so abusive to me so much. I thought Greg was good, but I am not so sure. He does not abuse us and does care about the children. It is just with me that he says mean things and thinks he can order me around like a stupid servant.
Later on we went to dinner at Friendlies and that was good. The children behaved there so we let them play with the crane machine. They both won the toy they wanted. Last time after two hours of trying we got one that Lara hated. Anyway things were good then.
When I got home though I found out that a little boy that had been fighting the injuries from abuse succumb to his injuries. He passed away at two thirty that day. I am very saddened by this. He was doing so well at his birthday a little over a month ago. I had been praying for him since last August. I know what it is like to loose a child to domestic violence and so feel so bad for his dad. He was the one that was taking care of him, as his mom was one of the abusers. One of I think seven people. He was only two when they called 911, as he was not breathing. He had so many injuries from trauma, burns, and bites. I am so sick from this I couldn’t sleep at all last night. I have been thinking of my baby that I lost so long ago, and what s/he would have been like had they made it to birth. At twelve weeks all I could tell was that it was a baby. Today that baby would be 25. I just hate people sometimes.
I was in such pain this morning as I finally fell asleep at six AM! Lara had a bad dream last night. I had gone to the living room to watch TV and try to sleep. I made sure Greg was all comfy and did not want to keep him awake. Anyway just as I was about to finally drift asleep Lara woke up screaming. She stayed awake the rest of the night as well. It was about two AM then. Every time she would seem to go to sleep something would wake her. At six Anthony came in screaming as I had left him in my bad and Greg couldn’t handle him. No surprise there. Anyway at that time Greg stayed with Lara and I went to be with Anthony. The four of us just can’t fit into a full bed anymore. So I got an hour sleep before Greg woke up late, as he didn’t set an alarm clock. He was screaming for me and Lara to get up. I was in such pain and just wanted to throw up and die. Greg was being his sunshiny self yelling that I was an awful mother for not getting up! As if I was up all night so how bad of a mother can I be? Also Lara did not want to go to rec. today as she was tired. Greg was just being so mean today. I just wish sometimes I had never married him. I had stayed away from men after my first fiancé was so abusive to me so much. I thought Greg was good, but I am not so sure. He does not abuse us and does care about the children. It is just with me that he says mean things and thinks he can order me around like a stupid servant.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Bummer Summer...
Nothing new. I was up nauseous and in pain. I know I am not pregnant because it is 2009 and my name isn't Mary if you know what I mean. Lara has been a horror lately. She screams a lot, refuses to eat and fights with her brother. Anthony has hit back a few times and is getting a bit lippy with me. Greg is just a cold ice burg. The most I ever get from him is a simple peck goodbye in the morning. He does his share with the children and showers them with affection, but with me there is nothing. I just started to take Relacore PM to get rid of my pot belly I got from the Prednisone. Maybe that will make me more attractive?
I just wish could run away sometimes and be by myself. To just relax and not have to do anything. :oops: My dream is to go to Lisbon Falls Maine
I just wish could run away sometimes and be by myself. To just relax and not have to do anything. :oops: My dream is to go to Lisbon Falls Maine
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Sorry for the no posts...
I have not been feeling well at all. The pain is up and I am as nauseous as ever. To add to the pain Lara has been particularly bad. She screams all the time and is never happy. We tried to take a drive today and had to come back home in less than a half hour as she was constantly screaming at Anthony the whole time. I just couldn’t take it so we went home. Greg is more distant then ever and hates me going online. Anthony is my one saving grace, but he is getting to talk back a bit too much. The summer is a bummer.
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