Giving up...

I am reluctant to type because I am such a downer as of late. The positive thing is that with my friend Percocet I can eat my normal diet. That is just about the only positive thing going on.

At the eye doctor he is convinced it is Sarcoidosis that went into my eye and so wants to see me Monday. My eye is all blurry now. Yesterday after the appointment we went to the mall to get some cards for my nieces and eat. Well one eye was dilated and one was small so I looked like “Bill the Cat” or should I say “Jill the Cat”? I am pissed that Greg didn’t say anything. I mean I ordered pizza at a stand. The poor worker looked strange to me I had no idea what I looked like. I was with Anthony so no doubt he said a prayer for the poor baby boy that his psycho mom would not be mean to him.

I am just pissed at Greg too for making a stink in the middle of the night that I left the refrigerator door open (again). I mean WTF! I was fast asleep and comfortable and he wakes me for that? We are supposed to go to the theater picnic today but I just don’t feel like going. My vision is all blurry, and my right eye is still dilated. I also am now taking.:
 Every hour when awake
 Every two hours when awake.
 Every four hours, setting and alarm at night when asleep.
 Eye drop #3 –Three times a day.

So even if I went on the picnic my time would be spent taking meds. Lots of fun? I think not. At this point I think I am just going to get one thing after another until my body just gives up on me. I know that sounds bad but that is how I am feeling. I just don’t know how much more of this I can take. I feel like there is a voodoo doll somewhere just poking me all over and wanting me dead. I am not sure I can fight that off.