Lara is getting tested...

We have decided to get Lara a 48 hour EEG test. Her doctor recommended it, as they did not catch anything in the in office EEG that she had in the fall. The EEG was awful for even the short tie she had to have the wires in. I held her hand the whole time as she was whimpering and at times wanted to take the wires out. So this is going to be hard on her. I am going to be with her the entire time. Greg will be with her during the times we have a babysitter for Anthony but then he will have to go home to relive them. We are going to take along her favorite toys and activities. I am also going to get some new things that I hope will keep her mind off the wires stuck to her head. We are having this done during her spring break so she does not miss any school.

Anthony is doing well and is maturing by the day. His Lego sculpture is getting more elaborate. He is now calling it his art work. He is a good boy and is very helpful in the afternoon.

Greg is back to his old self. Watching “Lost” until the wee hours of the night and eating junk food while watching it. Then he wakes up late and complains his tummy is not feeling well. He also can’t get up on time, as he is up so late so his alarm goes off every five minutes for at least 35 minutes each morning! I am sick of it and kick him out of bed now at the third time it goes off. He complains and calls me mean but I manage to get him up. He gets more and more lazy. He expects me to do all the errands and such, all the correspondence and such and I just won’t do it. He wants me to call the religion class and say we can’t make it anymore. Why cant he? He is the one that wants to quit, nit me so he can make that call.

I had tech week last week for the theatre. I am running lights for “The Melody Lingers On” at Bergen County Players in Oradell, NJ. I sewed one of the skirts for the show. It was made of beads that were made for a Christmas tree, but I cut them and sewed them on a belt thus making a bead skirt. Kind of looks like a hula skirt only with more bling. It took me an entire day to do. I only had a few breaks to do mommy things like feed Anthony and pick up Lara from school. We are running the show until the weekend after Easter, so I think we close April 20th. We are closed on Good Friday and Easter, but have a performance that Saturday. I won’t be there that night as I will be at the Easter Vigil. The lighting designer will take over for me. We had “Players Night” on Friday where only member can attend. Then we all went out after. It was fun and I got all dressed up for once. Then we had opening night on Saturday and a 2 PM matinee on Sunday. The Sunday performance was sold out. Most Sundays are almost gone as well. I just like getting out and away from the family. I know that sounds bad but I just feel good getting to be some place where I do not have to watch the children the whole time I am there. I get to kick back and enjoy the music of Irving Berlin and watch the glitz and bling of the show. I am having a good time and am dancing in my lighting booth most of the show. I love getting away!

At night I am drinking a cup of tea and reading the bible. I am up to Samuel now. The tea is mostly green tea so if I was TTCing I would be in great shape. We are not though trying so no oops baby here.

I am just so tired of being sick. Every morning I wake up in pain and nauseous. Greg is waking up late and later which only makes things worse. When he gets up late then he does not get out of the bathroom until after seven. Then he wakes Lara up at say 7:20 and we have to get her out in under and hour which of coarse does not happen. Then she is late for school. Greg takes over an hour to get ready so he has to get up first. I get about ten minutes to get ready. I am just sick of it and the pain and nausea only makes things harder for me to get ready, as I just don’t want to move. The fasting is probably good because even if I did eat I would probably just loose it all anyway. I never got morning sickness when pregnant so now that I am not why get it now?

Money is real tight now too and Greg is buggy me about the money I spend at the grocery store. It is not like I am buying a lot of meat and expensive things. I buy only basics and very little meat at all. Heck as a vegetarian I rarely think of it, but know that Greg and the children should have it a once a week. Anyway I am still trying to figure out what kind of job I can get. It has to be at night when Greg is home. The blinkies are just not paying anything as of late.

On a positive note I am up to Deuteronomy in the bible.

Ugh...

Lara has been in a funky mood. One minuet she is happy, the next she is creaming, the next she is all melancholy. She has been more melancholy than anything else and very clingy to me. She still hates school and hits Greg as he tries to get her dressed and ready for school. So as of late I rush to get dressed so I can get her ready. She also now keeps her hand in front of her mouth 24/7. It used to be only when she was sleepy, but now it is all the time even when eating. She manages to maneuver her food in but in takes a long time. We think this is all side effects of her meds. At least her cold/virus is finally gone.

Anthony is better now too, but is very clingy like his sister. Today he just wanted to snuggle with me. I wish I could but I have laundry to do. Now he is watching a DVD in my bed so I have time to type. Later on I will snuggle with him.

I had an awful week with Cornerstone. The woman who was head of the dining room is a total loon! She came and took the bags she dumped on me later on Tuesday afternoon. Both children were ill and in the living room so she did not come in the house. I actually never gave her the opportunity as I stood in the barely opened door and did not invite her in. Greg grabbed the bags and handed them to her, but even then she was not nice saying there were more. I guess she expected him to take it all in one load but she had to wait. She told me then she didn’t want to deal with me at all from then on. I wasn’t sure what to do so I called the head of the retreat and talked with her. That woman ended up repaying me the bill and calming me down, as at that point I was all shaking and upset. I ended up agreeing to drop off the things I made and then go to another section of the retreat. When I got there though Loon was acting like nothing happened between us. I stayed on dining room and that was a mistake. She was nice at first but as the day progressed she became more and more nasty. She would give me a task and when I finished if she was busy I would help in another area. Well she would snip at me saying we all had to do our own jobs and not to help. If I interrupted her she would say she had to finish what she was doing first. If I waited she would complain I wasn’t working. The woman is a total loon! We had so many meetings during the day it is pathetic. At one point we had fifteen minutes left and we had to put out the nick knacks. Well she wanted a meeting to decode the exact space to put them! No one cared; all we wanted was to finish the job. Who cares if it was one inch or two from the fork? Later on during clean up she was just nasty all the time. She was saying if I didn’t get done I wouldn’t be able to go to the closing mass. I kept on saying I had to as I was in the choir but she just didn’t get it. So when the time came I just left. Actually another Cornerstone member told me I should do that. She was nasty to everyone and we were all tired of it. Another dining room member told me she was thinking of leaving the group because of Loon. I am not sure if I will stay either. The kitchen people were so nice though. I heard the leader all day thanking her crew, smiling and acting nice. Then when they ate she gave a beautiful speech on how well they did. Loon did nothing like that for us.

My parents watched the children both Friday and Saturday. The children were mellow so they did not do much with them. Greg went on a company dinner on Friday. With times as they are the socialization is a must. You want to be a face with a name and family and not just a name on a piece of paper. KWIM? It is easy to fire a name on a piece of paper, but hard to fire a face with a dependent wife and two small children to support. On Saturday he worked in the theatre’s box office. Greg is being bad again about waking up. He overslept yesterday and today. I just do not know what to do.

My Sarcoidosis is about the same, no change. My midriff still hurts all day and gets worse at night. I over did it with the Cornerstone set up and so am in pain. Yesterday when I dropped Lara off for CCD I found out that Cornerstone had left all the clocks covered so I uncovered them. So now I am achy over that. They were covered so that the candidates couldn’t stare at the clock seeing how much time was left on their 26 hour retreat. I also think I am getting a cold as I am cold all over today, but then again it is rainy and this kind of weather just shivers me to the bone even when I am OK. The Lental fast is going OK. I have one meal a day at dinner time with the family. I have a cup of coffee in the morning and if I start getting tired I have a diet soda to boost me up.

For lent this year I decided instead of giving something up I was going to do something. So I am reading the bible from cover to cover. I am only up to the Exodus now as I am a slow reader. I am no longer a host at FF. It was getting to be a pain, as they wanted me to write a report at the end of every month. I did write one but they never responded to me. The set up was every month my member ship would expire unless they renewed it. Well they never responded on renewed my membership and it expired. So I bought the pregnancy cheap $10 one. I mean for $10 a year I was expected to be on line and helping 24/7? I can’t even figure out how much my hourly wages would be but it was well under a penny! I think my work is more worthy than that!

Life goes on...

Lara is now on a new drug called Vyvance. She was sick all of last week and missed a lot of school. She was coughing and running huge temperatures of around 103-104. By Friday she seemed to be coming down, but on the weekend she got worse. This week she missed Monday because of a snow day. Tuesday we kept her home because Monday she had a fever of 101. The school wants them out the day after they have a temperature over 100. Finally yesterday (Wednesday) she went back to school but got sick so I took her home at 9:30. Her doctor said her new meds had to be given in capsule form or opened up in water only. She also has to have food with it. Well she refuses to take it in water so we gave it to her in capsule form. She refused so I had to force it in her. I put it back on her tongue until her swallowing reflux took over. I was taught that by a vet when I had to give pills to my cat. Anyway needless to say she screamed at me and was very upset and was crying and yelling on how awful a mommy I am. Shortly after going to school she threw up. I asked the nurse what to do and she said I could put it in food so today I put it in pudding and she ate it, but again she yelled and cried afterward and called ma a mean mommy. She still has a cough today so not sure when I will be called to take her home.

Anthony is ill and has been since Friday. He spiked some scary temperatures this past weekend of 104-105. I took him to the doctor on Monday and was told it was a virus and to wait it out. Today his fever is low grade so I think he is coming out of it. He still has a cough though. He is bored at staying at home but I can’t take him out now that he is so sick. Even though his fever is low grade I want to keep him in a day or so more to keep it tat way.

I still have pain in the mid drift and am tired all the time. I am trying to fast for lent but it is hard this year. My lent fast means that I eat one meal a day. Usually I only have a cup of coffee in the morning and water throughout the day, but this year I am having soda as well to get some sugar during the day. I have to find a new doctor as this is just too much. Also Greg is pressuring me to get a job, as the bills are not getting paid. I just don’t know when I can work. The only time that I could go is when Greg is at home so I have to see what kind of night job I can get.

I went away last weekend on a religious retreat with Greg. The children stayed across the street with their Poppy and Aunt Debbie. They had quite a handful on the weekend with the two of them getting sick. They called us when Anthony had the 105 temperature but after giving Motrin it quickly went down. The weekend was good. We got a chance to be away from the children and learned a lot about our faith. Some I had already known, but some was new. They did a lot of the background of the last supper and how it intertwines with the Passover Seder. I had already been to a Seder so I already knew that stuff. A lot of people were not that familiar with it so it was good that they taught it. I had bought bibles for Greg and I before going. I bought a bible and separate cover for Greg. The cover is black and has a handle and pocket, and is about 10”x 7”. Mine is smaller about 8”x5”. It is green and has a self zipper cover. Both are the American St. Josephs edition. I started reading mine on the weekend and am up to Joseph in Egypt. I like to read a little everyday. Everything was calm on the retreat but coming home was awful.

When we got home both children had fevers. Lara had 103 and Anthony had 104. We took them home in their PJ’s. Good thing we only had to cross the street. Then when I got home a member of a church group “Cornerstone” had multiple messages for me. Apparently she thought we were meeting on Saturday morning and she was angry I didn’t show up. She left messages throughout the day. She finally dumped bags of curtains on my stoop and left a message for me to open my door and get it. She must have thought I was screening all her calls and was home. She said she know we were home because the mini van was in the drive way. Well we took Greg’s car, and the children being so sick stayed in their Poppy’s house all weekend so where would the mini van go? Anyway my FIL saw the pile and brought it in the house as nothing says no one is home like a pile of junk on your stoop. So she comes by later and sees the stuff gone and then calls again at 11:30 PM to yell at me as she now knows I am home as how else could the pile move? She got cut off after yelling the maximum time for a message. She called right back and before she could say much the time was full and again she got cut off. So she probably thinks I hung up on her. At any rate she is mad at me even now as I told her I was not measuring the curtains that I never said that I would so she came and picked them up. I am just so upset by that. I went to reconciliation last night and am trying to get rid of that time and give it to God. It is hard though.

This weekend is the Cornerstone 26 hour retreat. I am supposed to work with the woman that dumped the stuff on my stoop but I called the leader and she will have me do something else. Greg will be home with the children for the most past and my parents will baby-sit when he has to go out. I have no idea now how long I will be there at the retreat, as I do not know what I am doing. I was on the dining room committee and so made some nick knacks for the candidates. I put together 83 angel pins and nine bookmarks. The book marks were a bit complicated and I used my jewelry making skills with that one. The pins were just time consuming. I also went to the cafeteria and measured out the room and made a floor plan to scale at home. I am not going to be on ding room again as none of this seems to be appreciated by that woman.

Greg is not changed much. Today he still hits the snooze alarm to death. I finally yelled at him and he got up but then he was mad at me because I accidentally scratched him. He is such a baby sometimes! Right now I feel like I have three children and Greg is the baby of the family.

I have not heard about the boy yet. I am praying that no new is good news. During the retreat we all prayed for him a couple of times.