Feeling Down...

I am just a bit down about the Sarcoidosis. I guess I thought by this time I would be feeling all better and I am not. I was happy to drop the dosage down to twenty milligrams of prednisone as per the doctor. It didn’t do a lot though. For the first few days I was more tired, but still wired if that makes sense. Then on Tuesday after the children had been particularly troublesome at dinner I got really sick and barely made it to the bathroom before loosing it all. I think my mom calling me about thanksgiving right before dinner didn’t help make me any better either as I had an argument with her. She just doesn’t get that my brothers are going to do their own thing. Sure my brothers can say they will get together and everyone can make something, but their wives are the ones that rule the way with this stuff. They are on the fast track so to say and since they work have money to spend. So to them it makes sense to spend $100 a plate on a holiday rather then cooking and cleaning. After all that is what anyone that is anyone does in this fast track. We just don’t have the money to spend like that and actually even if we did I wouldn’t like it. I think that a holiday like thanksgiving should be spent at home. Not out at a fancy restaurant, but that is just me I guess. Anywho my brother’s wives will call this and we won’t get a call. KWIM? I still have a hard time going to sleep and once asleep cant stay that way. Greg said he was scheduling a bone scan but didn’t. I have yet to see a hematologist as well so nothing is going on now. The hematologist that was recommended was the same his mom saw. Well the last time she saw him he said she was doing better even though she said she felt worse. On the way home they went to the ER, as she really didn’t feel well. Seven days later she was gone, so we really don’t have faith in this doctor. He just wants to see as many patients as possible and get them in and out with very little time for each one. You know the type. The ones that are in it for the money only and not for say health care. He took a “Hypocrite oath”. So all of this is making me down.

Lara is home from school for the rest of the week so I have them for four days straight. I have to think of something fun to do with them. I started off well with pancakes that they both loved. We started a bed time at 8 this week and it is going over very well. They go to bed after getting their teeth brushed and their faces washed. They then get two stories and then they stay in bed. So far I have read the same book over and over again. It is “Fred And Ted Go Camping” by Peter Eastman, PD Eastman’s son. Anywho they really like it so I read it to the twice every night. They both like it so that is four readings a night. I know the book word by word now. Anywho if they stay in bed and quietly go to sleep in the morning they get a sticker on a chart. After five stickers they can get a treaty like an ice cream or small toy so they are excited about that. They actually say they want to go to bed! Also Greg and I get time to ourselves which so far means that Greg goes to sleep and I go to the computer. There is just no spark left. Greg just doesn’t act the same anymore. He complains when things are low like milk. Well he uses the milk too doesn’t he see it going down? He could have just picked some up on the way home. Why do I have to tell him to do it? Also he wants the bank problem fixed. So again it is my problem not our problem. I think this all stems from his parents taking care of all of this for him up to the day we were married. I mean Greg’s dad used to do his banking! He would deposit his checks so he had his own strange direct deposit! So now I am supposed to be like them. He also would complain about the stuff they bought and they would buy what he liked only. He was spoiled! Reality has hit him hard, as I don’t always buy just for him. He might prefer the size ten Barilla linguine but if it isn’t on sale he isn’t getting it. He is just going to have to settle with the sale stuff n the size that is available.

Well today I am 11 DPO so not much more time before I see if anything good has come of these drugs. Only time will tell now.