Not doing well...

Today again was hectic. I didn’t get into the bathroom until 7:30! I have to leave at 8! Greg got in at 6 AM according to him, so WTF take sooooo long? I am thinking of putting a spy camera in there. So today again was hectic and again Lara clung to me crying she didn’t want to go in. We got to school in time for line up but then she clung to me while the class went in without her. A worker there took her in. She was screaming for me the whole time. I just can’t take that anymore. What can I do to make her accept school? Any suggestion would be great as I am clueless.

I think I might be getting drug withdrawal, as I just can’t sleep at night. I am getting cold, then hot and sweaty. It is a withdrawal symptom that I read about so I know it could be psychological as well. It only started on Sunday which is over the 6-8 hours after my last dose but I took it for so long. Almost two full months (or was it a little over two months?). At any rate I am sure it is withdrawal and so I just don’t feel right. I have been through this before so I know the feeling. All I can do is ride it out. Greg wants me to get the bone scan and biopsy but I am not loving that idea.

My insomnia could also be to the upcoming anniversary. Seven years later and I still feel the pain as if it as today. All of the innocence lost both on the planes and in the buildings. They had a show on the history channel last night and I just cried the whole time. They showed what the plane did with computer graphics when it hit tower one. How it disintegrated into the building and stripped the fire proofing away. All I could think of was that I hoped it had hit my friend. That she went without knowing or feeling anything. Then the guilt of knowing that others were not that lucky. What about them? And the people on the planes. Some babies and small children what of them? It just hurts so much. Then the event ion Washington and the Pentagon, and in Pennsylvania. So much lost in such a short time. Anthony was watching with me, as it did not actually get very graphic. The computer animations were like line drawings on grid paper. He did see the towers collapse and the pentagon as well. He now wants to go to the site to see the footprint. He will have to wait as neither Greg nor I can go there yet.