Ugh...

The week was busy as usual. Lara had a hard time at school and had to leave early on Tuesday because she was a mess. She had a BM in her pants. Later on in the week she peed in her pants. The change of clothing I gave her that day was missing so I had to bring some clothes to her. The school was supposed to have a fire drill at that time but they held it so she could get into fresh clothes. I thought that was nice of them to do. Lara is just drifting further away from us and I just don’t know why. She doesn’t eat much and likes to just stare off. I feel like we are slowly loosing her and I just don’t know what to do. Greg is looking for a psychiatrist for her and later on today we will see the neurologist to get the results of the 48 hour EEG that we did at the hospital. Hopefully she will give us a clue on what is going on, as it was video taped as well.

Anthony is becoming quite the little man here. He is building pyramids with his Legos. He also has a great vocabulary and is very observant. He is writing out small words on his Magna Doodle also. He is just so opposite of his sister in so many ways. We have to be careful not to over praise him, as Lara gets jealous of him. On Saturday his guardian angel was on overtime. He had a really close call and scared the heck out of me. He went into the kitchen to get a snack out of a cabinet we have. It is a self standing one that we got at Target that has five shelves. Anyway he hung on the door. Greg was right there and told him not to but he did anyway and Greg did not try to physically stop him like I do. Anyway the cabinet fell over and Anthony managed to get out of the way. The cabinet barely missed him. A little more over and he would have been hit. We have a cement floor covered by tiles. I just don’t know if he would be here still if it had hit him. I fear not. I want to anchor the cabinet but out walls are cinderblocks covered by cement so it is complicated on how to do that. Greg is supposed to as he grew up across the street in the same model house and so knows how to do it, but he just doesn’t get to it. So until he does Anthony can not go into that cabinet again. What worries me is that in the morning Greg’s dad comes over to watch him. When he watches him that is exactly what he does he watches him. He watches him climb up things and get into things that are not allowed. He watches him climb up on a chair to reach on his tippy toes to get junk food for breakfast! I mean WTF? Why doesn’t it register that a little boy shouldn’t eat candy for breakfast or should climb like that? How did Greg survive boy hood? I don’t want him watching unless he is going to supervise as well. He shouldn’t climb, as he can get hurt. I mean I get why he does it. That is from me. I have always climbed and the crew I like best on the job is lighting climber. I can climb and get extra pay! I also get to be away from the roadies which is great sometimes because they can get to be a pain to deal with. I miss working. No stagehand can work around here unless they have younger family and I am the youngest so that is out. The work is just not steady enough to get licensed day care. Unlicensed is just too risky.

Greg was his usual self this week. Saturday he wanted to do something fun with the family outside as it was going to be so nice. He said he would get up at seven, do two hours of yard work, and then do something with us. I knew this just was not going to be the case as he said this all last year and it never did work out that way. He promised this year would be different. Well he got up at ten, had a leisure breakfast, went out to the yard at eleven, and finished up at four thirty. Then he showed and dressed and was ready to do something at six. So he is doing again this year what he did last year! So no family fun that day. I had taken them out in the yard earlier in the day but they fought and kept on going inside for water and snacks that I just eventually went inside with them. They were happier there even though Greg said they would be happier outside. Outside was just too hot. The weather had become super hot, super fast. It was in the 90’s this weekend and it is still up there. This is just too early for this kind of weather here. On Sunday I switched all the clothes from winter to summer. I had to do the children’s Greg’s and mine so it was a lot of work.

I am not doing well at all. I feel like a whale with all my extra weight. I can not fit into most of my pants, as I am too big. My shirts are no problem as I always wore large and extra large, but the pants are a problem. I am now taking diet pill in the hopes that my appetite will calm down. I don’t feel guilty about that, as it was the prednisone that made me fat. So if one pill made me fat why not take another to make me thin again? My face is also all broken out and I feel so ugly with that. My back is getting worse and my mid drift is in more pain at night. Last year at this time was when the pain was building up. By mid May I was taking Percocet so I am hoping it does not get that bad again. I am also often nauseas as well. Greg is going to see if his old dermatologist is on out health plan as the last one I saw was awful. We waited an hour and a half to see him less than five minutes. He them gave me a script for topical meds that cost $90 after the insurance paid its part! We had to leave it at the store, as I just don’t have that kind of money to spend on my face. Id rather get food and clothes for the children, KWIM?

We did manage to go to “Friendlies” on Saturday. The children were a bit noisy there. We decided to let Lara play the stuffed animal machine as you can now play until you win. It has a claw to grab stuffed toys. Well she had to go to the bathroom after starting, while we were away Greg let Anthony do it and he won a dog. When we got back Lara was mad so we gave her two dollars to play again. Well she couldn’t get anything, nor could I, nor could Greg, nor could Anthony. We tried and tried. So much for play until you win! After a while you just want to scream. Eventually I went to the car with the children. Lara was screaming she wanted to stay but I thought it was late enough. Greg did come out with a toy, but it wasn’t a cute animal. It was this stuffed boy doll with the Jamaican flag color on his hat and his tongue sticking out. Lara hated it and screamed.

On a nice positive note a couple of Robins decided that our bush by our front door was a great place to live. She the female made her nest there and later on laid her eggs in it. They have three beautiful blue eggs that she sits on day and night. I can see her on the nest when I look out my bedroom window. She doesn’t care when we are outside near it but if she sees we are looking at her she flies away. I don’t do that but Greg did a couple of times. He wont do it again as we fear her leaving the nest. We have yet to see the male but we know he is around somewhere guarding the brood. They usually are nearby and hidden. The mommy had a great day today as Greg watered the lawn. The water can not get to her, but the worms in the ground come up. So all she had to do when she woke up was fly down to the ground, eat a nice big worm, get a drink, splash some water on herself and get right back up again. Fast food and bath. Greg saw the whole thing from our window. It is nice to see the birds there. When we come home at night we can see her tail feathers sticking out of the nest. I like that.