UGH The hag came to visit!!!!

Anthony is doing well. He is growing every day into a fine young man. He has his moments but all in all he is a good boy. He is so big though that a lot of people just expect too much from him as they think he is older.

Lara is having her evaluations now. We also took her to a new doctor. He was recommended by Lara’s godfather who is a certified NICU doctor. The difference was amazing. This doctor really cares and wants to find out what is going on. He recommended several Neurologists to go to. He also wants to talk to Lara's teacher something the old doctor never even mentioned to us. For the first time I feel we will find out what is wrong. I am so worried about her as she is just slipping into her own world. I fear that it could be ADHD or autism the way she is going now.

Greg is OK but he really does act like a baby sometimes. I made up my blinkie about having three children on a particularly bad day for him. He was just into a serve me mood. Also at dinner he actually tried to hide his peas! Ugh! Even the children saw through that and said he had to eat them or no desert.

I am OK. I went to the doctor last Monday and he was supposed to call me with my blood results on Wednesday but to date he has not called. Kind of mad about that. I called a dermatologist and got an appointment in June. I called an OB/GYN and they were booked until June too. They have nurse practitioners there that can see me sooner. Not sure if I want this doctor as he seems busy. I mean if I want to see a doctor all I can see is a nurse instead? Seems strange to me. I am really down about not getting pregnant. I really wanted it this cycle and things looked so good. Had I been pregnant my due date was going to be my MIL’s birthday. I know Greg would have liked that.

I have been pregnant now six times with two children that survived to birth.
So here is the history

1983 – Lost at 12 weeks or so due to domestic violence
2002 – DD born
2003 – Lost at seven weeks of unknown reason.
2004 – DS born
2006 – Lost at five weeks of unknown reason.
2006 – Lost at six weeks of unknown reason.

So we filled out a form at Lara’s new doctor and the question was “number of pregnancies” I said six, Greg said two . I almost lost it right then and there . He said we don't know if they were babies. I said I was not going to dismiss my first as I was almost out of my first trimester and held him/her in my hands! So he said three and I put that down . I feel guilty now for not putting down six . He says we don’t know what we had as we lost them before we could see anything so he doesn’t think they were babies . I am still really upset about that as I think of them as my babies. Sometimes I just don’t get him at all. All I want to do is fill out a new form and put down six.